ABOUT DIVORCE  
My entire professional career has been around working with people 
who have been divorced, are getting a divorce, or anticipating getting a divorce.  Since I have been divorced myself, I know the experience first hand and have learned a great deal from the experience.  Because of 
my own experience I have been better able to help others.  More significantly I have a unique way of looking at “success” in working with people who are thinking about divorce.  I do not think one is successful if one keeps a couple together; nor do I think of couple’s therapy as failing if couples decide to separate.  It is important to me how they do what they decide to do about their relationship.  Love can be honored independently from the decision to separate or not.  “Success” from my point of view is how well I am able to hold up the behaviors of love in spite of a negative feeling state.  This is required especially when children are present.  “Loving,  honoring and cherishing” are behaviors more than feeling states.  I see no reason for people to disavow these concepts even if they choose to no longer live under the same roof.  Conversely, these vows of behaviors can be routinely violated to the detriment of children in “intact” families.  It is not what we do, but how we do it that matters most.  I am very clear about what I espouse in matters of divorce or separation.
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